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Hello there!

Suffering with Interstitial Cystitis (IC) and looking for answers? In my blog, I explore more ways than the "established routes to treatment" and try to open up hearts and minds to other, non-invasive and safer alternatives. We explore the realms of dis-ease, nutrition, health, and wellness and make changes in order to HEAL, not just treat.
$85 initial consultation for 1.5 hours. Please use the donate button to the left of THIS screen. (If you don't see it, you are most likely using a phone and in "phone mode." You must change to "desktop mode" to see the 'paypal' button.

Contact me at tosunnymorrow@hotmail.com or call 864-905-1864. I look forward to hearing from you!

Friday, April 29, 2011

...on being unique..

We really need to shift our perspective on our own sacred uniqueness.  I've been pondering this theme since I had my first Human Design reading from a great local visionary named Alex vonGleich (acalltoheal.com).  I saw my own Human Design mandala and was told that no other design is like mine.  I came into this world with extremely unique skills and desires that no one else possesses.  Isn't that fantabulous?!  This means you did too, by the way.
As with any seeker, I am always open to information in my outer reality that will lead me to deeper wisdom and experiences.  So when I saw my Human Design mandala and started to study the system, my mind was blown away!  It is so right on in so many ways about my life and who I am as a person.  I started to think about all the people I have known throughout the years and the good or bad experiences I have had with them and realized that I might as well have been interacting with aliens all along.  We think we are humans and all having the same experiences even when we are having the same experience, but we are not!!  Nothing could be farther from the truth of the matter.
As I began to understand the layers upon layers of insight the Human Design mandala reading brought to my life, it made so much sense.  My emotional center is open (not filled in) and so I absorb emotions from others who's emotional center is filled in (they give off the energy, people like me absorb it).  This explains why it is so hard for me to be around other people for long.  There have been very few people in my life that I could stand to be around for longer than a day or two.  Sorry peeps!  Yes, I do have emotions but I also absorb and AMPLIFY those emotions given off by people with emotional centers activated.
Also, the mandala shows that my sacral center is filled in which means that all I have to do to choose what's right for me is get quiet and listen to the overwhelmingly loud "yes" or "no" feelings I get about something.  I have, throughout my life, had strong, visceral, gut-reactions to things that were either really good for me or really bad for me.  I could never explain how I knew it was OK or not OK, so people tended to side with others or need scientific proof before proceeding based on my sacral response to the situation at hand.
That's what happened with the RAW lifestyle for me.  I saw Dan the Man, Liferegenerator, on youtube and instantaneously knew that I had to go RAW right then.  When I tell people that, most look at me like a deer in the headlights.  If there is no understanding of this instant "yes"/"no" from somewhere deep inside you, then all I can say is your sacral center is probably wide open and not defined.
My point to this blog is that we certainly waste a lot of time and energy on people expecting them to be this way or that way, wanting them to understand, dialogging with them about important topics, fighting, coercing and the like... but according to this Human Design, if a center is defined or no defined makes all the difference.  My last boyfriend, I'm sure of it, did not have a connection to his throat center and so couldn't speak to me about anything of significance in our relationship without shutting down completely.  I mean, he became a brick wall through which nothing could penetrate, ever.  And I wasn't even yelling!  My empathic and clairsentient ability got us only so far before everything fell to pieces.  No one can date a brick wall for long and I deserve better.
People just cannot, cannot, cannot be or do certain things according to the design.  It's like asking an apple to turn into an orange.  So if you are having troubles with someone, it may be that your designs are not compatible and it may be that there really is no understanding of the situation because your perspectives are so different.  There will be no budging on topics if there's a center filled in or not filled in - that person can only be or act out of their design.  Except it and stay...or leave.
Which brings me to the RAW lifestyle.  It's right for me for now.  I've seen and heard many different perspectives on what and how to eat.  I am now convinced that we are each a completely different species when it comes to food.  People have likes and dislikes, yes, but each of us if given enough incentive would find the diet that is right for our own, extremely unique, sacred bodies that would be different from everybody else.
It really makes me laugh when I see all these celebrities touting all the science to back up their way of eating and saying you should too.  No, what you should do is investigate for yourself the food that allows you to thrive in your life before you manifest a disease in your body (like I did).
Personally, I happen to have a fair to weak constitution and the cleaner diet works for me to keep me healthy.  When I add in the sugars, lots of fruit, cooked food and the like, I gain weight, feel lethargic, and get my bad acne back.
Have you investigated what is right for your body type? Your blood type? Your constitution? Your health?  I invite you to start! 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

...that absurd idea.....

I am a writer.  I can't help it.  I sit down and the words flow out.  Even if I have no clue what it is I am going to write about, I just start tappa tappa tapping away and there ya go..... 2,000 words later.  I wish I knew I had this capacity in middle and high school because then the writing tests would not have been so excruciatingly stressful and hence, low-scoring.  You know that story about the swan living among the ducks?  Yes, I silently observed my surroundings, the people, how they treated each other, how society worked, what people said, what the trees said; observed it all and I decided there had to be a better way.  I was singled out by groups of anything to be picked on, ridiculed, beat on and made fun of.  I was out of high school by the time I found my inner desire to take anything they had to dish out and give it back to them ten-fold.  O well.  I wasn't meant to be a boxer in high school.  Since then I have learned about Karma so anything I could be angry about or feelings I could hold on to aren't serving anyone, least of all myself.  Of course it's hard to just jump from those experiences into letting it all go.  Of course there were many years of battling low-self esteem and low self-worth because of this conditioning I experienced.  It's a path.  I knew there was a better way.  If I knew how I knew there was a better way....I guess I could make millions.  I'll let the people who are making millions writing books about how to know your higher power tell you, if you want to know.  I just knew it and that is all there is to it.  I kept going.

Albert Einstein once said "If at first the idea is not absurd, there is no hope for it."  I am that absurd idea.

I have had the glorious experience in my life to be exposed to the most beautiful of souls. He is my grandfather (by marriage).  I lived with him and my grandmother for about six or seven years through middle and high school.  I have never known another grandfather.  Once our relationship pushed through my tumultuous and emotional teens and twenties, we now have a pretty good one.  He wasn't very helpful in that emotionally supportive department.  I really don't know who could have been with all the crazy things that happened in my life.  No one I knew had been through the same stuff.  When you are that age and lost both your parents, it's not about all the people in the world suffering.  It's about you and your ego and your small little world.  Anyway, I believe we have a pact that was made before we came to this lovely planet.  I literally cry every time I think about all the seeds that he planted in my inner soul as a wise, loving, stable being in my life.  All he could be in my life at the time was an example.  On the deepest level I could imagine, he changed the course of my life for the better in so many ways.  One way I can point to directly is that he read books all the time.  I didn't even know I had an inner lust for learning until the seeds he planted in my inner being began to take hold in my early to mid-twenties.  Folks, that's after I had been publicly schooled!!!  School did not teach me how to learn.  School was a limited, indoctrinating, jail for me that I barely made it through with anything left in tact of my soul.  When my mind awoke, it was the example he set for me growing up in his home that took off in all directions.  I'm so happy that happened!  I read and studied about things I really enjoyed which were (and still are) books about exploring humanity as a whole and myself in particular.  I dabbled in metaphysical topics but when I was given the raised brow by my grandfather over it, I quickly set those books aside for a few years and focused on putting myself through college.
Still, I knew there was much more.  I was aching to find it.  The biological science program I was immersed in couldn't be all there is.  It cannot be the end all, be all.  I knew there was expansion on a deeper level.  I can try to explain what I longed for (and still do) but it's every person's specific longing in their own unique way.  If you ache for it, you know what I'm talking about.  My professors were so fully indoctrinated into one way of thinking.  The beauty and spirit aspects of all the life we were studying was absolutely absent.  Searching, searching, searching...
After diving head-first into community college, graduating with honors, and moving on to a four-year university, I graduated by the skin of my teeth.  I blame Tom Brown Jr.'s book, The Tracker.  Ah, the beyond.  The great mystery that lives in all things.  Finally.  My computer-geek friend and I took a trip out to Ohio one weekend during the winter and saw Tom Brown speak in a high school performance center.  I now have his autograph in that book.  He studied things in nature the way I think we should.  Native or not, the whole of the biological department at the university I went to needs to be turned upside down and taught in a new way.  We're digging our own graves if we don't change the way science is taught and practiced.  With all the cutting edge science I've been exposed to since, I am amazed that science is still taught like we are in the dark ages at the university and that was only ten years ago!  I was never happier to get as far away from something as that school.  People put so much stock in that B.S.  The degree, that is.  I certainly got an education alright.  I think part of my path is to figure out what doesn't work which has me looking like a complete waste of the public oxygen supply.  I'm always into different things, testing, experimenting, and generally either turning things into gold or screwing up.
There's more but it all unfolds into more examples of how I keep aching to see the one, to feel the one, to find wise people, to work in a conscious way, to find my true path, the learn to love....
So folks, this desire to be more, learn more, expand.... How do you think I found the raw lifestyle and healed myself from IC?  My unending, non-stoppable desire to know the one.  It underlies everything in my life.  I hope this post has given you some inspiration, a drive to push onward. There's more, there's always more.  I hope you know that too.
I love you.  Sunny

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Wading through it....

My path in life has definitely meandered and zig-zagged at times...no, make that constantly.  So I guess you could say I have had quite a ride so far!  I am a seeker of adventure, new experiences, and knowledge (aka the truth).  Uh oh...ping word for a spiritual seeker....seeking the "truth!"  Well, this is my blog and my page....I'm going to ping away!
A lot of people, including myself, go through life thinking that we're doing OK, got a job, got some friends, got some money but....  There are always things that we are blind to, denying, or not seeing that we are doing, how we are behaving... ALWAYS.  So you're going to deny that you are in denial about something?  Actually it is SO easy to do because we don't know what we don't know!!!!  If it's stuffed down there in our unconscious mind, then how the heck do we have access to it?  We just end up doing things unconsciously without thinking about it too much.
WELCOME TO MAINSTREAM CULTURE. This is the M.O. (mode of operation) of most people living day in and day out.  Maybe a lot of people wonder what life is about and what it's for.  I guess some do.  The reason I say that is because I am always questioning what I actually know.  I have, indeed, actually had conversations with some of my friends about these deeper questions.  But for the most part, those conversations have been few.  My mind is filled with all sorts of images from growing up with TV and being so exposed to the media throughout my life.  Sometimes I know that the opinion or belief that is spewing forth from my mouth is based in utter lies from this exposure.  Then I feel like a robot, saying something I heard somewhere else. Because in my head are all those images of man's quest for freedom and wisdom and the never search for holy grail....which have been put there by the media that I have been exposed to.  So how do separate those millions of images in my head with what I have actually experienced in my life?  Very hard, indeed.  So my beliefs?  My opinions?  Do I have direct experiences with every single opinion or belief that comes out of my mouth?  Absolutely NOT!
After an experience is over, ALL you have left is images in your brain.  The media knows this - otherwise how could they make so much money??  They just skip the experience part (sortof) and leave you with all the images they want you to have so that ... you buy their brand, you go shop there, you spend time doing this or that, you even start to believe that you should be doing something or going somewhere because of those images.  And your opinions? Your beliefs about the way life is?  It didn't all come from your family! Over a period of 20, 30, 40 years you are fully indoctrinated into a consumer-based, economical society that runs on the idea of never-ending growth (aka greed).  Yes this is simplified.  Why make it complicated?
So, finally I get to the crux of it.  Ignorance is bliss sometimes.  Then a mainstream, Standard American Diet-eating, financially secure in all the right ways person begins to feel horrible.  Naturally, they go to the doctor.  The doctor can't really say what's wrong right away.  Let's do some poking and prodding, drink this dye, put this up into your urethra, lie back, take it, it will hurt, I don't care....Round and round the merry-go-round we go until several months to several years later, when the college tuition of the doctors' children have been paid ten times over, you get a diagnosis of Interstitial Cystitis (aka IC).  What the heck is that and what pill can I take to get rid of it?  Oh, no says the doctor.  This is something that you will have to live with and manage the best you can for the rest of your life.  Here's the short list of foods that will probably not trigger those nasty flares people with IC sometimes get.
It's OK, it's not her/his fault that s/he is just a trained technician able to dole out pills and advice.  I believe the medical industry is there to react in emergency situations like a broken arm, car crashes, etc.... GREAT!  But this type of DEGENERATIVE DISEASE is not a good thing to be handing over to a trained technician.  They just don't know.  Don't expect them to know.  It is not their fault.  Leave their office immediately!

Absolutely, under no circumstances are you to believe that just because this verdict came from a trained technician, that you are in any way supposed to live with IC or manage it for the rest of your life!!!
Absolutely, under no circumstances are you to believe that you are powerless in figuring this out!  After all baby, isn't this happening to YOU?  You know better than anyone what is going on!
It's time to break out of what the old paradigm that tells you what you are supposed to believe about sickness and disease and health and eating and living.....OK, everything!
If you are one not to rock the boat, a little mousy person, someone who doesn't speak up, or talk back, or kick back...then woman, ummmmmm...A lot of work has to be done which is to say YOU make the changes necessary that will allow for further changes later on.  But the thing with IC is that you are probably in pain!  So how do you go about not making waves AND stop the pain?  I don't see those two things as conducive to each other.  One must change their mind, their thinking, their very core beliefs about sickness and health and stand up for it against all odds and talk back and stand their ground and take their healing into their own hands and keep vigilant about it for weeks to months to years while going about ..... alkalizing their body to reduce and stop all pain.
The solution to the disease called IC is so simple that hunny, it could slap you in the face right now and you wouldn't see it coming.  You must alkalize your body.  That is the only thing you need to do.  Why didn't the doctor tell you that?  Does s/he even know?  What if s/he doesn't know, as with most allopathic doctors?  Look at the state of the world and all the suffering that is going on - look at your suffering.  Now tell me, what do you think the doctors know?  Ummmm......OK.
The root of suffering is because our thinking, our beliefs, our behaviors, our systems, the way we live is SO out of sync, out of date, old.....AND because we are not alkaline.  We are supposed to be alkaline.  There is no disease, other than a dis-ease of the mind, that can occur inside the human body if it is alkaline.  Why didn't the doctor tell you that?  OK you get the point!  Now that you know that one gem of knowledge about life, it is your responsibility to now go out and buy a book on alkalizing the body.  Read it, learn, gain knowledge for self-healing and to help others, and be prepared to come up against others who refuse to change their thinking for a better tomorrow and will argue with you about this.
Google "alkaline foods."  Eat those.  Make green smoothies with those. Do this every day.  Drink alkaline water.  Buy pH test strips and test your pee 4 times a day.  See that it is working.  You will feel better too.

Some women say the alkaline diet makes their symptoms worse.  I say that once you alkalize, your body then begins to bring out more acids from inner tissue to release them and this may cause an initial time of more pain.  The big missing piece of knowledge about what is happening is that now your body has all the nutrients it needs or desires to heal your tissues.  So moving through this "flare-up" is paramount in the healing crisis.  Just because a flare happens, are you going to give up on the only thing that is going to bring true healing to your body?  Quitting during a flare and saying "This is crap - it doesn't work" tells me you have not done your homework.  You do not understand true healing.  Get through the flare.  Go back to what you were eating. Go back to the library or bookstore and read some more.  Learn more. Because I'm telling ya girlfriend, once you understand what is actually happening (it is simple!) you will push through and stick with this crazy idea of alkalizing and move into a glorious state of health and wellness that you have never experienced before.  Don't take my word for it!  Do it yourself.